I love my little boy. BUT look at what he freaking did with Baby Powder. LOL!
While getting ready for an anniversary celebration with the boyfriends family the following happened, while we were all dressed up in our pretty clothes.
The room :)
The bucket & toys. :)
The evidence. He is wearing shoes in this one... but wait... wait for it... are you still waiting...
He took off his shoes mid dusting. :)
My favorite part. This isn't the first time. He did it once in the living room. Brian looked atme after discovereing our very own snow storm and says "I can't belive there is still some in there." I had to lay down I was laughing so hard.
This is real life y'all. His bedroom is still sitting like this, because I think he should help me clean this up. When we got home Sunday, He walked into his room looked at it. Looked at us, almost as to say, "This shit is still here. Hello, clean up my mess, your my peoples. That's what you do. "
Guess whats still there until someone helps me clean up HIS mess. Baby Powder.
My babe, You are so mighty, in the littlest of ways as well as the biggest of ways.
The boy that you are growing into amazes me constantly.
The love and wonder that radiates from you impacts all those around you.
We took you to the park on the beach right down the street from our house. I can't manage to get you to stop chasing the birds now, It use to be I could never pry you off of the slide, you'd just sit at the bottom after you finished the ride and keep saying "wee" until we picked you back up and put you on the steps, because you didn't like the way sand felt on your feet. Not any more, your off and gone as soon as I plop you down. So when I fnd you doing the things you did months ago, I can't help but cherish them.
Something new with a mix of the old, when we are driving to work in the morning you say "Weeeeeee." down the off ramps that twist and turn,while you bob your head and nod along with ZZ Top or whatever is on Bob FM.
We took you for his first haircut Ever!
I had gotten so annoyed with hearing how "pretty my little girl is"
It didn't matter if you were dressed in head to toe in green and blue and covered in dirt, he was still "sooo pretty" and it was all beacuse of our "long hair, don't care" attitude.
So despite my hesitations and wanting to wait till after his 2nd Birthday, we did it.
And it's sooo awesome, I'm not soo sure why I had wanted to wait, I guess that cliche of long curly baby hair. But it just wasn't workin for us.
I fall asleep as soon as my Tushy touches the bed.
Typically, under any other instance this would be a positive.
Except.... my sex life and "me time" is suffering
I don't know why I'm falling asleep so fast. I know I am not possibly that tired at 9:30 pm. I use to sit in bed and play with my beads or crafts until 11 pm easy, with not even one yawn. If I tried that today I'd fall asleep in the middle of whatever it is that I'm doing. It's become a sad fact, not something that has happened every once in awhile, but every night for the past 2 months.
Example: Folding Laundry, captured by the boyfriend.
I need to wake up man So I can get me some.
I'm usually so eager to hop in the sac at the end of the day and get a lil lovin' or cuddle and watch a movie.
But guess what doesn't happen when I'm snoring by the time my boyfriend is undressed.
None of THIS
I need some of THIS, I call this the RIGHT side of the Bed
Last weekend was Owens first weekend away with his father.
It was rough for me. Aside from breaking out in tears sporadically from Friday at 7 until Sunday at 2, I was also completely unable to sleep waking up almost every other hour, as well as eating my way through everything in sight.
Before he left I insisted on taking tons and tons of pictures of him. The problem was that I wanted pictures of us together, so I kept sticking my fat head in the shot every opportunity I had.
End result: a ton of pictures with half of my head, ruining the shot of his adorable little smile and giggle.
Finally a little light bulb got bright: Just ask my baby to take a picture with me
guess what I got
and he even said "cheese!"
My little Smarty Pants
Any who, the weeekend went better than I expected, and he came home happy and healthy and sooooooo excited to see me. So last weekend was the first weekend of the rest of my life.
All I know for sure is that he is loved beyond belief by everyone who knows him.
I think there is an instinct that I can't fight, or that any woman can fight off, to protect and provide for their child. Sometimes it's scary the people I feel I need to protect Owen from, sometimes I can't figure out if I'm protecting him from a very real danger or something that he'll never know ever happened, and he better never ever witness with his own eyes.
I hated the idea of overnights with his dad, I fought it all the way and at the end, swallowed my pride and agreed because it had gotten to a point where there was nothing I could do. Apparantly this "cookie cutter" case was just another "same old same" thing for the Juvenille and Domestic courts, as well as the attorney assigned to the case. But still I hate this because they only met my child once, me three times and his father twice, and there is no follow up to make sure they made the right choice for our family
I've always been candid with my relationship with my sons father, I've never put it on the web, when I had a tumblr, on my facebook, or when myspace was a thing. I've kept it inside, and I'm not sure if thats protecting Owen, myself or his father reputation. But I've found a way to accept what has happened. I had to, to be able to cope with all that I know now and how much continue to find out . Deciept is never easy to handel wether you find out while your in it or afterward. It still hurts.
They say that your first heart-break steals the innocence of love. Its true.
They also say You live and Learn. I learned.
The best way for me to look at this whole thing:
My First Love, gave me the blessing of the Love of My Life, My Son... and then I was given the oppertunity to find the True Love I deserve.
"You were born a daughter.
You looked up to your mother.
You looked up to your father.
You looked up at everyone.
You wanted to be a princess.
You thought you were a princess.
You wanted to own a horse.
You wanted to be a horse.
You wanted your brother to be a horse.
You wanted to wear pink.
You never wanted to wear pink.
You wanted to be a Veterinarian.
You wanted to be President.
You wanted to be the President’s Veterinarian.
You were picked last for the team.
You were the best one on the team.
You refused to be on the team.
You wanted to be good in algebra.
You hid during algebra.
You wanted the boys to notice you.
You were afraid the boys would notice you.
You started to get acne.
You started to get breasts.
You started to get acne that was bigger than your breasts.
You wouldn’t wear a bra.
You couldn’t wait to wear a bra.
You couldn’t fit into a bra.
You didn’t like the way you looked.
You didn’t like the way your parents looked.
You didn’t want to grow up.
You had your first best friend.
You had your first date.
You had your second best friend.
You had your second first date.
You spent hours on the telephone.
You got kissed.
You got to kiss back.
You went to the prom.
You didn’t go to the prom.
You went to the prom with the wrong person.
You spent hours on the telephone.
You fell in love.
You fell in love.
You fell in love.
You lost your best friend.
You lost your other best friend.
You really fell in love.
You became a steady girlfriend.
You became a significant other. YOU BECAME SIGNIFICANT TO YOURSELF.
Sooner or later, you start taking yourself seriously. You know when you need a break. You know when you need a rest. You know what to get worked up about and what to get rid of. And you know when it’s time to take care of yourself, for yourself. To do something that makes you stronger, faster, more complete.
Because you know it’s never too late to have a life. And never too late to change one. JUST DO IT"
Read this on one of my most favorite blogs this morning. And well. I gooshed and gawed and now I'm sharing.
Always full of doubt. Always second guessing myself.
Tee Totally annoyed with these un-flattering habits.
When does self assurance become second nature followed by the simplicity of just being intensely me.
When, if ever, will I know who me... is.
Is this sense of self that I want a "fly by the seat of your pants" type of thing. Or. Am I just that shinning naive 22 year old little girl with a forever young heart who is aching to experience more of what life has to offer.
Ehhh. I'm not sure. But right now, I'm at work suppose to be working, and all I can think of is that I'd rather be somewhere else. I want to be at home playing Mom.
At the end of the day, I know, I'm doing the best that I can, and I am, despite all my doubt PROUD of that fact.
Waking up, looks Oh so Good!
A confession: I love this little spot, The curve of his neck, the freckles falling across his shoulders, his reddish hair
Love feels right, feels unhindered, natural, and undeniably present.
Last night, my son, my adorable little Owen was mad at me. All he wanted was my attention, he wanted me to sit and put together his puzzle, watch Rugrats and eat grapes with him. But I couldn't.
My stupid reason why...
I have a routine. I work Monday through Friday And I try to make it so through the week I get free un-obligated and chore free weekends and I spend them doing what I wish. However, this past Monday left me desperately wishing I'd had been more productive. I spent my weekend playing. We walked through seashore park, played in the sand, visited a few community parks and freinds, slept in and our ritual movie marathons filled with popcorn. Needless to say, I didn't touch one stitch of my ever mounting laundry, I didn't vacuum one crumb, or stock up our cabinets. I did do the dishes, but that's simply for my tendencies to not be able to cook in a kitchen with dishes in the sink.
My routines. Monday: Clean House, Tuesday: Laundry, Wednesday: Groceries, Thursday: Fresh Linens, which tends to mean Laundry yet again, Friday: Start of the weekend. And of course the typical pick up and wipe up the usual that follows raising a 20 month old.
From here out I wanna make a few amendments so that when little man wants his Momma, I can walk away from my to do list and say okay and wave my hands in the air and simply just not care.
I'm thinking of starting an Etsy shop. I've been playing with beads for the past 6 months probably, still have only sold one necklace and given away a handfull to a select bunch, but It's a dang good thing I like what I make cause I've been wearing em out and about. I've also been Making picture frames, I made a special frame for everyone on my Christmas list with a picture of the recipient and my beautiful boy. Then this weekend I started with niffty little mirrors and wall decor. Now to add to my list, I'm about to jump in with a sewing machine, because I found this awesome piece of fabric that I REALLY want to be a dress. So I'll be sharing some photos soon of some of my creations. Crafty feels oh so good.
Planning my very first baby shower for the lovely Nicole and her boy to be Hunter. This is the first time I've been able to dabble with Party Planning. We're doing rubber duck themed. I'm getting so much inspiration from browsing blogs. Bath tub blue Punch, Cupcake puzzle in the shape of a duck, center pieces with ping pong balls and rubber ducks. I can't wait to see how I end up putting things together.
Home sweet home in less than 1.5 to make a rubber duck chandelier and my most favorite meal: NY strip, fresh made home cut fries, and fresh green beans. I'll be lucky if I get any of those little beans though, my Boy will take all of em' if you leave your plate unattended.
P.S. I am not satisfied with the appearance of this post or this page yet. I have yet to really play on this site and figure out how to use this blog. I really really want to learn how to take advantage of all these options so I can add pictures and links from where I found my inspiration for the above post, as well as to make a pretty Little layout.