Compliment

Someone i admire paid me a compliment today. I said thank you and then about a half a paragraph. I wish i could just say thanks and let it go. Because now I'm picking apart the conversation because pf the response. Which there was nothing wronh with but it wasnt the topic. The topic was making something. Which im honored she thought of us.
It was such a sweet compliment too. About how it shows in what I'm doing that om happy and ive found a hobby thay suits me.
I read a quote the other day that said the moment i began to be myself is the moment i felt beautiful. And i keep thinking about it.

Slow down

This weekend was close to perfect.
Well, my minds idea of what i like.
I love waking up and getting a little me time for the start. Hola hooping. Cleaning. Reading. I just need to be up earlier sin e it starts my day so much more positive.
Unintentionally I've been exercising when i take lily out in the am.
We brought her to my moms and out in the woods by the house. I alwayd feel so much better when she's with me
A little bit of everything, not to much of anything.
I didn't do well so far writting every day.

Metal

I used to be into metal. Local metal. I enjoyed the scenes and the bass lines.
I sometimes go back to myspace and loaten to DTM. Haha
Now. I'm into a new kind of metal.
Metal work.
Last night was my first metal smith class and i had a really good time.
Im not good at it. I broke saw blades. My circle is only sort of a circle.
I'm excited! Every Tuesday for 3 months I'll be learning and I'm giddy.

Flash back

Amd it's not even friday.
Music always brings someyhing back.
Music and driving.
Usually memories i wish id repress because its embarrassing even to think about for ages ago. When i was 12,15,17,21. Why?!
I hope one day they are stories i can tell that sound exciting and make me remember good times.
Until then, cheers to friends, drinks and that one time.

Things

A while back a close couple we're friends with had some struggles. I was of course there for my girlfriend. Amd i had some built up resentment towards him from the things that were going on. I tried to remain neutral. But in conversation one time he was upset with my verbage and tone. As a result he has been distant and isolated us from our usual get together.
I feel left out.
The whole time i was just trying to get them to work things out. I was in no way choosing sides. But he took a sensitive tone to the wrong person and i redirected that sensitivity to his current relationship.
While.
Now I'm sad. I wanted the relationship to work out because i wanted a friend that dated my guys friend. Selfishly i guess.
But it all worked out ultimately.
I'm sad we weren't there for new years.
Im sad they didn't  come over.
Im mad too.
Im mad that they didn't care to include us.
It makes me want to take this year on and re evaluate those friends.
Makes me question what i want in a friend and how i want to feel with them.
I want to be a friend when everything is good. Not just when they need a shoulder.
I just saw another friend share an image from new years and she was invited. But we weren't.
Maybe because we had invited them and they said no. So they choose not to invite us. But either way my feelings are hurt. Pretty solid.

2nd

We were out by 1030.
Breakfast.
Movies. Star wars and the good dinosaur.
Aquarium.
Tacos.
Arcade.
Home.
Video games.
Belly flops.
It's been full. Its been fun.
It's still going on.
A stark comparison to yesterday, when we stayed in pjs and the most effort into anything was moving the tv for couch tour.
But that's balance, right?!
I'm grateful for our days. The gift cards and membership that made today mostly free. And for adventures.
And for these boys.

Farewell 2015

We listened to Live Phish last night. Sitting on our floral couch, drinking spiced apple cider. Both  babes fell asleep while sitting with me. I enjoyed company with my love and a good friend.
We opened the front door and embraced energy for the new year.
And i feel asleep sitting up.
I hope this new year is happily exhausting.
Full of adventure and growth.
Learning new skills and improving old.
Improvement in the home, the health, and the heart.
I will fill my heart with the intentiof to fulfill this year as god intended. Open my heart to feeling free from insecurity. Trust that what happens ia okay. Accept that what others think of me is none of my business. Focus on myself and my family. And enjoy every bit.